Dearest Letterboxing Community,

Is was with the utmost shock and dismay that her Ladyship recently read the scurrilous interview with President Bush in "honor" of President's Day that was posted on Mark and Sue Pepe's web site. Her Ladyship is compelled to correct the heinous inaccuracies contained in this irresponsible piece.

First her Ladyship must defend the Pristeens. This wonderful organization is made up of the finest most promising youths from only the best families, wonderful youths who have dedicated themselves to learning the dying arts necessary to becoming a gracious, elegant and valued member of society. Two intemperate sots such as the Bush twins would never be permitted into this fine academy. I dare say anyone with a drinking problem, such as they have seen fit to make public, could never possess the manual dexterity needed to pass the napkin folding portion of the entrance exam, to say nothing of the timed Ikebana portion.

The allegations regarding her Ladyships character and personal habits during those precious few moments of private time and relaxation are truly shocking and utterly false. Her Ladyship is accused of drinking directly from a wine bottle; her Ladyship can say with the greatest probity that she has only ever sipped wine from the finest lead crystal. Correction; her Ladyship has been know to condescend to use a hand blown goblet but they were a gift from that dear boy Dale Chihuly. Her Ladyship occasionally samples the delicate cheeses of Eastern Europe and may have been known to consume an Armenian string cheese in the interest of inclusiveness but never ever whilst in aposition of repose; and her Ladyship doesn't even know what is meant by "Tuesday's" underwear. Please forgive this uncomfortable and unseemly familiarity with her Ladyship's unmentionables but all her delicates are hand laundered and laid out for her by the Pristeens each morning. If the Pristeens have taken to categorizing her Ladyship's under-things by the day they are worn then it is a shining testament to their perspicacity and training that they have created a system of organization that aids them in carrying out their daily tasks in the most efficient manner. Her Ladyship's is beyond words to describe her anger at the thought that she has been photographed in her dishabille. Her Ladyship can only speculate what sort of depraved individual would order such photographs be taken and to what prurient ends this person used them but the sense if humiliation andviolation is indescribable and all the more frightening that it is at the behest of the leader of the free world.

Please dear letterboxers, do not believe the scandalous accusations hurled at her Ladyship for no conceivable reason and understand that while her Ladyship would have to have been firm in denying admittance to the Pristeens to Bush twins, she would have done so in a fair and gracious manner and without the ad homonym attacks seen in this shocking interview.


With troubled brow,

Lady Prisspott